Yummy Mummy

It's funny how I never cared too much about where I rated on the attractiveness scale before I had Mr Magoo. Sure, I didn't want to languish down in Mingerville, but I wasn't too obsessed. Yet now, it is exceedingly important to me that I am a yummy mummy, or MILF if you prefer acronyms.

What is it about women that right at the time we should be the least worried about how we look, given our new more meaningful roles (blah blah blah), we become obsessed with our looks? I never used to worry about my toenails before, so why does it irk me now that they are unpainted? Is it one of those "you want what you can't have" scenarios, in this case the "want" being the time to paint said toenails?

Who knows but either way I want to be yummy. Which leads to the next question. Does Yummy Mummy mean yummy AND a mummy or yummy FOR a mummy. I'm starting to think it's the latter.

When I was pregnant (around 27 weeks, and let it be known I was huge while pregnant,) I had two very dressy functions in consecutive weeks. I wore a lovely preggo dress and did the best I could given I was the size of a whale. The number of compliments I got at those two functions was as amazing to me as how I was told I looked. Given that I was the size of a house, I assume I wasn't being told I looked amazing compared with say Jennifer Hawkins, more so amazing compared with perhaps Rosie O'Donnell. I hereby coin the new term "relative appreciation".

I believe this relative appreciation concept is the lynch pin of the yummy mummy concept. People expect less of you when you've popped out a rug rat, and hence by looking normal, you are exceeding their expectations. It's easier to be hot when you've had a baby than before hand.

So knowing this, why does it matter? I don't know, it just does. The whole world seems obsessed with how well a woman bounces back after having a child, it's the ultimate test of her physical and mental resilience. Like how well a building can withstand an earthquake. Well I know this body has experienced about an 8 on the Richter scale, with a few aftershocks thrown in. It's currently still standing, and back in it's original shape. Lets hope the cracks don't start appearing any time soon!